I left my basket to go look at curtain rods, got distracted talking to a nice older lady about "sheers", and then had about 20 minutes of trying to decide if I should use a regular curtain to disguise our messy pantry filled with old recycling, or use a shower curtain to do it. I decided and then went to find my basket. (Cue the Tatooine music from Star Wars...remember, when C3-PO & R2-D2 are in the desert with the sun BEATING down on them.)
After about 25 minutes of LOOKING for my basket, I began to feel somewhat bad. A very worried kind of bad. I had walked around the towels & pillows, kitchen wares, food aisles. Around in circles, I mean, customers were looking at me passing them again and again. Everyone was busy, talking on phones, and I just kept passing by, dazed. I thought: Did I just forget where it was? I DID fill it up, right? I think I may have to ask someone to help me...like, mentally help me. I was saying all of these horrible things to myself (yes, the F-word again and again (quietly)). I couldn't help dwelling on my condition -- was I under the influence of the tumor? Disoriented or just feeling sorry for myself? Was I completely confused in a public place? Did I just need to leave and try to find my way home? Am I conscious? Am I about to faint? Ethan?
I finally picked a Target employee to approach, in tears. I said "Can I ask you a favor? I need your help." She was worried, but I reassured her I was okay, just upset. I continued: "You don't need to know the story of my life, but I am having a few health issues, and I was shopping and I have been looking for my basket for about 45 minutes and I can't find it anywhere, and I am just really confused and not sure what is going on...I am preparing to go into the hospital next week and I thought I was handling it but maybe I am not".
To which she said: "OH DID YOU HAVE KITTY LITTER & TOILET PAPER & A WHOLE LOT OF STUFF IN IT?"
"Yes I did! Thank God! Do you have it?"
"OH, we found that basket over in *Blue World* and I took it to Guest Services. They may be putting all that stuff back, they already did the refrigerated stuff but you can just go back and grab all that stuff you had some lunch meat and string cheeses some coffee but I may need to check on your slippers and 2 pairs of socks and that pack of underwear I'm pretty sure the litter and the scoop and the cat food is still in it I'll go grab your basket and bring it to you where will you be?"
"Uh, near the shower cleaners."
"OK, I'll bring it to you!"
This truly had been one of the worst moments of my life. I had already been in there for about 90 minutes and now I had to retrace my steps to replace stuff taken out and already put back by Guest Services. It was like being stuck in my own fresh hell...Yeats repeating in my sore head:
Turning and turning in the widening gyre/The falcon cannot hear the falconer
(Okay I am exaggerating...)
I honestly did not leave my basket for that long -- in freakin' *Blue World* -- whatever the heck that means (bath stuff). SO, don't forget this pathetic, sorry tale the next time you take your hands off of the handle of your basket. A bored employee may think it has been abandoned...and take it into the void known as Guest Services which should be named something crueler. Something like: "Guest Services: First you think you're going completely insane but it's really just a brain tumor! HA HA!!"
I did thank her. That's really all I could get out. I wanted to ask if they take baskets arbitrarily or if they time how long the baskets look abandoned, or if they just do it to be mean. I had approached her at the edge of all my reason and sanity, a humiliating experience really. But now it was fixed, the wheel jerked a minute, and the world kept turning. There was normalcy in the relief.
Life won't stop!